Why I Travel

My first big trip was a 16 day post-high school, art history tour of Italy, Switzerland, France and England. It was a lot to cover between Rome, Assisi, Florence, Lucerne, Loire Valley, Paris, Canterbury, and London. There were thirty of us on the trip with four teacher/chaperones. I was the oldest by 9 minutes (my identical twin sister was also on the trip). Four of us, including my art teacher, were from California; the rest were from Nashville, TN.

It was an amazing trip and left me desperate to get back to Europe, especially to Paris. I’m a Francophile at heart and one day, not only will I speak French fluently, but we will spend part of every year living in France.

I loved the art, the culture, food, and the people, and just how old everything was next to California. We didn’t travel a lot when we were kids, except to visit family in Southern California or Nevada, or to go snow skiing in Tahoe, or water skiing/camping on various lakes in Northern California.

Last week, while at the beach with our two year old empty nest puppy George, Zeke asked me why I’m so driven to travel and my response was:

I love meeting people and learning about their lived experiences that are often so very different from mine. Having grown up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I am well aware that we live in a bubble. Travel forces us to get uncomfortable, adjust, adapt, learn, and become more empathetic human beings. It opens up our minds and hearts if we let it. And we should.

I love learning and attempting to speak other languages. Right now I am working on Spanish, French and Italian. For a short period of time in the fall, I was also studying Portuguese. It really is sad that most of us in the US aren’t forced or strongly encouraged to learn to speak other languages fluently. I’m pretty sure I am going to need an immersive experience to improve and one day, that will happen.

It was really important to both of us, me and Zeke, to make sure that our kids, who were also born and raised in the Bay Area, traveled and experienced living in other places. We needed them to realize not only how fortunate they are, but to expand their minds and build empathy. I firmly believe that you can’t help but expand when you travel., and that’s a good thing.

We did a few home exchanges in France in 2013 (one month in Paris) and in 2015 (two weeks in Paris and three weeks in Provence). I balanced working with clients in California with trying to live locally and see as much as we could. My favorite part of that experience is that I am still good friends with the first family from Paris and the family in Provence. I’ll write about the home exchange experience at some point although we are somewhat frustrated with the current HomeExchange.com platform and the points system.

We took the kids camping, to Mexico when Finn was 13 months old (and alternating years until Finn was 12), to Ireland when Finn was two and a half, and Palm Springs annually. There were regular trips to Tahoe for a while but very little travel throughout the United States. I feel somewhat negligent for not having exposed them to more of the US but hopefully the other trips compensated for the deficiency and they can travel as adults.

Adam became difficult as a teenager so we stopped traveling until he went off to college. And then he went on a post-high school trip to Europe, including Paris, and absolutely loved it. I took him to Amsterdam, Paris, and Italy this past June after he graduated from college and we had a fantastic time. I’m in the process of writing the blog posts on that trip, the Philosophy, Food and Art (PhFArt) tour. We went to 16 museums on that trip!

The previous summer, after Finn graduated from high school, Finn and I went to France, with a drive through Switzerland to get to the French Alps., and an unplanned extended layover in Frankfurt. I wrote about that in a series of blog posts as well. It was a great trip that was built around seeing friends in Nice, Dieulefit, Paris, and Les Arcs 1800 (all in France).

I love traveling with my kids individually. Both of them have such completely different styles.

Finn likes a slow entry into the day with yoga, journaling, tea, and quiet time. Finn prefers to be outdoors and not be overly scheduled while Adam is obsessed with museums, art, and history. He and I both get up and get moving quickly in the morning and keep moving until we collapse, desperate to see as much as possible, and not able to get enough, leaving us utterly exhausted and even more motivated to see more.

Since I am the parent, I modify my expectations and the experiences around my kids’ needs and desires. I am just so happy they will travel with me (I’m paying so I guess that helps) that I am willing to do pretty much anything they want. If you have high school / adult kids and can, travel with them.

In May, Zeke and I are planning a three week trip to Italy and France and I don’t know how it’s going to go. We haven’t been to Europe just the two of us since my 40th birthday nearly 14 years ago. He definitely maxes out quickly on museums and cultural sites, prefers the outdoors and a more liesurely pace. I have a fair bit of FOMO so I will need to rein that in and remind myself that we can go back.

On the last two trips with Finn and Adam, I reminded them, and myself, that it was a goute, a taste. We can go back and explore more intensely another time. We don’t have to do it all at once.

Since Finn went off to college and the world opened up after Covid (yes, I know it’s not completely over), Zeke and I have done quite a bit of traveling, and so far it’s been great. We are both willing to compromise and still get what we want out of trips whether it’s to Denver, Montreal, Mexico, Palm Springs, or Tahoe. And even on some camping trips.

This time, he’s even trying to learn Italian. Usually he leaves it to me to communicate when we travel abroad. I’m impressed at his commitment. Despite having French together in high school., he claims he never learned anything and struggles learning languages. I have more faith in him than he does in himself.

As for how I like to travel, I am an anxious traveler so I will pay extra to be comfortable, to get overhead space, and to ease potential logistical issues. I like to immerse myself in the local culture which can be challenging, especially with the languages, so if there’s anything I can do to reduce my anxiety and stress, I will do it (or pay for it). I also like to eat well and drink fun wines, beers and cocktails.

I will try almost anything. I want the whole experience!

And I want to appear the gracious and grateful American traveler when I travel which is why speaking the local language is so important to me. We are guests in their countries, cities, etc. And this approach has paid off in totally unexpected ways which I will share over time. We’ve been invited to people’s homes, we’ve been guests at a French family circus where we got to pet an elephant, and when our parapente (paragliding) flight got canceled due to wind in Chamonix, the guy made arrangements for us to go up in Les Arcs 1800 two days later.

It’s magical.

I am so excited for all the travel we have planned and to share our adventures and experiences with you. I am grateful for the opportunity to travel and feel privileged to be able to share it with you and others.

As we progress on this journey, we will be asking for suggestions on where to go, what to do, and what to eat and drink so if there’s something you’ve been eager to learn about, please let us know at zekeandterri@gmail.com.